Well it's been close to 6 months since I've touched this blog. These months have been filled with questions, tears, healing, forgiveness, answers, restoration, and the beginning of moving forward.
When I first returned, I wanted so badly just to get back in to the groove of the "normal" life I had before I ever crossed the ocean....I got re-acquainted with my family, friends, and church home. I had three weeks with my parents, who came up for a visit (they had planned on spending half their time here, and half their time in Romania visiting me). I got a job with the same company I worked for in college. I bought a car and totaled it 6 weeks later. I bought another car. I took a class to move towards getting my alternative certification to teach. I took my certification exams, and passed them. I was in my old roommate's wedding. I spent Christmas with my brother, sister-in-law and precious niece. I spent New Year's Eve with my class from church. I started making new friends. I made a goal to run a 1/2 marathon this upcoming December.
On the outside, it would seem that I've gotten it all back together, and that's what I want people to think. But the reality is that, even though my life is almost back to normal, I still have questions. I still struggle to forgive. Some days, I still feel broken.
I know that some of my questions will never be answered. I understand that every day I have to choose to forgive. I am confident that God is healing my heart and putting me back together.
God has been gracious to give me people who are willing to listen. I have been able to talk through and process several times, and with each time has come new understanding, and a step closer to whatever it is He's taking me towards.
I guess what I'm trying to say is that I'm content. I will always live with questions and He will continue to heal me. But the other day I realized that I'm at a place where I haven't been in a long time. I'm at a place of contentment, knowing that I can't change all of my circumstances, but God is working through them, and it feels so good. He is restoring me. I will never be the same person I was before I went, but I'm ok with that.
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2 comments:
I love you, Ang. Can't wait to see you this weekend.
Angie, thank you for being so transparent and sharing this with your blogging world. I'm so glad I know how to pray for you. You've been on my heart lately. If you ever want to talk, I can be a good listening ear. :-)
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