Sunday, April 4, 2010

Food for thought....

The question has come to me for the first time this year....what was it like at the grave the moment of Christ's resurrection? He was the only One there. What did it look like? Sound like? Smell like? feel like?

Will we know this one day in Eternity? Or is it such and intimate moment that will forever be between the Father and the Son (and the Holy Spirit)?

Oh the mysteries of our Lord, and His great love for us.

Happy Easter, dear ones.

Saturday, March 20, 2010

Several Thoughts....

In January I got an e-mail from Paulette Carson of Beautiful Gate Translations, wanting to meet and talk about potential opportunities for her ministry in Romania. I met with her and some other ladies and had a great time. A little while later, I went to Houston to meet with her and a gentleman who has a ministry to addicts, with whom she is hoping to merge ministries. Paulette and I also met with the Jones, my former college ministers and some of my favorite people on the face of the planet. I didn't, and still don't know why I went to Houston (besides the fact that I had never been there and I wanted to meet the addiction ministry man AND spend some time with Curtis and Amanda). The Lord knows, though. It was a good time.

While in Houston, I got to spend some quality time with the Jones. I don't think I have told y'all how much I enjoyed staying with you guys and how much fun I had. Curtis and Amanda graciously listened to my story of what I had experienced in Romania and made me feel so special with their verbal affirmation and the time that they gave to spend with me. They invested a lot of time in me while they were in Irving, and they are super wonderful people. (This means HUGE things to me since my main love language is quality time).

I was invited to stay with them on Saturday night and go to church with them on Sunday. As soon as we walked in the door from dinner on Saturday evening, it seems a switch went off and they snapped in to action...their 4 year old Jackson and 1 year old Annabeth were in bed within 10 minutes. I was amazed at their awesome parenting teamwork skills. They patiently listened to me recount much of my time in Romania, and I believe it was the first time I had gone through that story without shedding more than just a few tears. I am so humbled that they felt so badly on my behalf, and also that they shared with me a time that they had a similarly trying experience. That Sunday, I went to service with them and their Sunday School class. I had always wanted to visit the church from which many people at my church in Irving have come. I wasn't surprised when they tried to talk me in to moving to Houston, because it had happened before, and I would even do it if I had a job down there.

Needless to say, thank-you, Amanda and Curtis for opening your home to me...it was a special time.

More recently, I have been continuing to grow and heal and be more active in the job search for a teaching position in the DFW area. I have loved reconnecting with my class at church and continuing to make new friends. Starbucks is alright, it's a job with benefits and that's about it. I have to remind myself that my co-workers are just as lost as the throngs of people I walked through at Piata Victoriei in Bucharest at rush hour, and that they need Jesus just as bad.

Lastly, I had the privilege of babysitting my sweet niece yesterday evening for a few hours while her dad and mom went on a date. As I was feeding her, a few bites in to her spaghetti, she looked at me, folded her hands, bowed her head, and said, "pray." So we prayed. This happened about five or six more times, and even though I thought it was cute and funny, we didn't run out of things to pray about. I took the opportunity to pray for her salvation one day, that God would draw her close to Himself as he is even today, and that she would grow up to be a warrior woman who loves Him more than anything. Her 18-month old mind doesn't understand these things yet, but even still, I was so amazed at how sweet she is...not just that, but I was more proud of her parents for her persistence to pray than I was of her....They certainly are teaching her the way she should go.....

Monday, February 22, 2010

I guess I owe y'all a post.....

Well it's been close to 6 months since I've touched this blog. These months have been filled with questions, tears, healing, forgiveness, answers, restoration, and the beginning of moving forward.

When I first returned, I wanted so badly just to get back in to the groove of the "normal" life I had before I ever crossed the ocean....I got re-acquainted with my family, friends, and church home. I had three weeks with my parents, who came up for a visit (they had planned on spending half their time here, and half their time in Romania visiting me). I got a job with the same company I worked for in college. I bought a car and totaled it 6 weeks later. I bought another car. I took a class to move towards getting my alternative certification to teach. I took my certification exams, and passed them. I was in my old roommate's wedding. I spent Christmas with my brother, sister-in-law and precious niece. I spent New Year's Eve with my class from church. I started making new friends. I made a goal to run a 1/2 marathon this upcoming December.

On the outside, it would seem that I've gotten it all back together, and that's what I want people to think. But the reality is that, even though my life is almost back to normal, I still have questions. I still struggle to forgive. Some days, I still feel broken.

I know that some of my questions will never be answered. I understand that every day I have to choose to forgive. I am confident that God is healing my heart and putting me back together.

God has been gracious to give me people who are willing to listen. I have been able to talk through and process several times, and with each time has come new understanding, and a step closer to whatever it is He's taking me towards.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that I'm content. I will always live with questions and He will continue to heal me. But the other day I realized that I'm at a place where I haven't been in a long time. I'm at a place of contentment, knowing that I can't change all of my circumstances, but God is working through them, and it feels so good. He is restoring me. I will never be the same person I was before I went, but I'm ok with that.